So, how does it feel?

As the shadow creeps across my heart sucking out all the light like an unsatiable black hole in my mind.

My feet are heavy, my breath ragged, my smile a fading memory.

There is no light at the end of this tunnel, no rainbow at the edge of this horizon.

No love, no joy, no happiness, just despair.

Pain and misery are my constant companions.

A dull, blunt blade twisting in my heart and piercing my soul.

Hope is a cruel joke.

The future holds no promise.

An endless stream of pop cliches run through my mind.

So, how does it feel? I couldn't say!

"If music be the food of love, play on"

Will Shakespeare certainly knew what he was talking about. Is there a more universally understood language than music? Be it classical, folk, pop, rock, tribal, fusion, jazz, instrumental - music can convey the entire gamut of emotions. All you need is a few well paced progressions, a couple of chords, some notes and you can basically communicate the crux of anything you want to say to anyone - unless you want to communicate the finer points of a complex nuclear theory - in that case try a pen and paper.

India has always had a tremendously wealthy heritage of music. The traditional "Guru - Sishya" system in the south and the "Gharaanas" in the north were always founts of genius, having bred innumerable luminaries that could leave a listner awestruck with their skill, talent and selfless dedication to their art. Sadly, as we march strongly towards our quest to be THE global superpower, we pay less attention to the classical arts and more to the latest on the Billboard charts. When was the last time you attended a classical concert? How many of us know what a "Pakhaawaj" is , or the difference between a "Santoor" and a "Saarangi"?

George Harrison named his son "Dhaani", a combination of two notes on the musical scale - Dhaa and Nee (or La and Ti on the western scale). I have a feeling that this English youngster, born and bred in the west might know more about Indian music than most Indian youngsters. Admittedly, it is in his genes, but when we see Dhaani jamming with Anoushka - he on the guitar and she on her sitar, we say "wow" and our interest is renewed. Apparently, we still seek the approval of the white man before we can appreciate and praise our own heritage.

I recently saw "The Last Waltz" on TV, and what struck me most about the band was their sheer honesty. They are up on a stage, sweating it out, playing as if their lives depended on it. No fancy synthesisers, pre-programmed tracks or any other electronic safety net. That is the beauty of a live concert. A studio recording might have more subtleties, layers, effects, surround sound etc., but can never capture the raw energy of a bunch of guys on a stage playing live. Anyone who saw the Rolling Stones concert in Bangalore a few years ago will agree - the songs were the same, but where will you get Jagger's manic energy and the light drizzle on "Sympathy for the Devil" from?

There is still so much more to do, so much more to see, so many concerts to attend that I feel slightly unqualified to write too much more. I have yet to attend a Sufi concert against the backdrop of the Taj Mahal. I have yet to hear MS sing at the Madurai Meenakshi temple (and may never get a chance to do so). I have seen Shakti (the original lineup) perform at the OAT in IIT Madras and that was a concert worth remembering. Unfortunately, I can only offer an opinion or ten, being as I am quite simply not qualified enough to comment on the quality of the music I have heard over the years. However, as a listner, I can boldly put my foot in my mouth and act as an armchair critic.

The importance of music, or for that matter any creative form of expression cannot be underplayed. While the world may mark progress in terms of science, maths and technology, without a creative balance it would make for a very Kafkaesqe existence. Innovation in science also needs creativity and the best way to encourage creative thought is to participate in and appreciate creative endeavours. If you cant sing, at least attend a recital. If you cant paint, at least visit your local art gallery. If nothing else, it will act as a soothing balm and reduce some of the stress we face in our everyday lives. We all have some creative spark within us - it is up to us to ensure that it manifests itself and expose it to the world to see. Otherwise, just imagine how sad and depressing life could be - a pallette filled with dull grey and not a dash of colour in sight. Remember your old Black & White TV? Now imagine the entire world in the same colour!

The universe is full of creative genius. Colours on birds and insects are so vivid, they cannot be truly captured even on the most hi definition LCD screen we may make. Paens have been written on the song of a nightingale, and it required genius to design the beauty of a scenic lake against the backdrop of the Swiss Alps. When creativity is all around us, why deny the same that lurks under the sardonic veneer of each and every one of us? Let the colours enter your life. Smile, be good and live well!!

It's confirmed - we live in interesting times and thank God for that! We belong to a generation that has seen a few defining moments of our history - the end of the cold war, the collapse of USSR, the fall of the Berlin wall, 9/11, the Asian tsunami, the rise of the Internet and the "flattening" of the world, the phenomenon of BPO's, call centres and new words like "Bangalored", the turn of the millenium, two wars in Iraq, a demolition in Afghanistan, massacres in Rwanda and Serbia/Bosnia, jokes like "shock and awe", erosion of human rights concerns, panic about the environment and the overall decay of political, judicial and legislative systems. While wars are nothing new, the last few international conflicts have been so one-sided and blatantly selfish, it only underlines the fact that we rarely learn from our history and continue repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

More recently we saw Benazir Bhutto falling prey to a terrorist/assassin, the fallout of a system she helped nurture not so long ago. As Pakistan slips slowly but surely into the abyss, one can't help but prophesise a similiar fate for the grandmaster himself - the General who has recently given up his uniform. The frankenstein created by them is coming home to roost and no one seems capable of stopping it. Having done almost nothing to deserve becoming a pin-up model for bleeding hearts while alive, in death Benazir has succeeded in becoming a liberal-secular martyr, and we now wait with bated breath for her son to finish school so he can lead the largest political party in the world's 2nd most populous Muslim state, while another ex-exilee rubs his hands in glee at the unfortunate turn of events falling nicely into his lap. That is, until he can stay out of Jail.

On our side of the border we saw Modi, a man pilloried for his past inaction romp home in an exhibition of vibrant democracy or communal polarisation, depending on your viewpoint. We deserve the leaders we get since it is us who bring them to power, and Gujarat, when faced with the TINA option (There Is No Alternative) chose someone who perhaps symbolises the best and worst of our polity.

A direct fallout of Modi's rise has been the strident "liberal" press succeeding in casting Hindutva under the same net as Nazism. This attempt began with a "rath yatra", peaked at the Babri Masjid and Modi's rise gave them the new poster boy they needed, giving birth to terms like "hindu fundamentalists" and "hindu extremists", previously the sole reserve of another community. How the hell did Hindutva become a bad word? A Canadian by the name of Yann Martel summed up what it is to be a Hindu and how one knows one is a Hindu in just one beautiful paragraph in his award-winning "Life of Pi". When a Canadian can sum it up so well, how the hell did we forget? Instead we fall prey to these pseudo-secularists who insist that being liberal is all about appeasement and pandering to minorities while constantly running down any voice that might oppose such a point of view. Someone new to Indian peculiarities might have mistaken the tone on some TV channels during the runup to the Gujrat elections as the voice of the nation. The secular media were in such a panic-ridden tizzy, it seemed that Modi was actually Osama in disguise. I will never try to defend Modi; no defense for the indefensible; but at the same time I am also amazed at the catastrophic predictions of psephologist turned political analysts who have their own private agendas. While a free press might have always been a mirage, Americanism has finally succeeded in tinting every point of view - You are either with us or against us!

So what does 2008 have in store for us? From the look of things, more or less the same that 2007 held. The sensex will reach greater heights, the common man be pushed down to deeper lows, politicians will continue bickering, upcoming general elections will set agendas and the promise of the future will sacrifice our now, ensuring that we benefit from neither, the cricket team will continue to alternate between exasperation and ecstasy, India Inc. will succeed in prolonging the mirage that all is well while flashpoints like Nandigram and Narmada will drift into our collective peripheral vision before disappearing entirely, we will celebrate the immense wealth created by the Ambanis and the Mittals while a toothless 53 year old grandmother will trudge across 15 km of sand and stones to fill an earthen pot of water somewhere in Rajasthan, Taslima will be defended citing freedom of speech, Hussain will be vandalised against the same principle, while Karunanidhi will continue his vile diatribe and will be accomodated so as not to disturb the status quo at the centre. In all, not so different from 2007!

The year end did come with a silver lining in the form of Taare Zameen Par. Aamir Khan's directorial debut should be made compulsory viewing in schools across the country for teachers and students alike. A poignant and moving tale simply told had grown men in tears across the nation, showing us once again that no one can do it like Aamir does.

Ring out the old and bring in the new might apply across the globe, but we will recycle, reuse and regurgitate - Chak De India! Happy 2008 everyone!!

I recently watched four films - two of the mainstream variety and two of the new-age - and I loved three and a half of them. Indian cinema finally coming of age, where the adherence to formula is'nt necessary and fresh themes, faces and treatment are making a mark.

The first on my list was "Johnny Gaddar" and I loved it - the story might not be new, we've seen similiar fare dished out many times from Hollywood, but to see an Indian film with such sensibilities was a treat. The story, treatment, music and performances were certainly worth writing home about, and its about time our writers stopped feeling the need to justify any dark move made by our protagonists. The anti-hero has been around for a long time, and has always had a sob story to justify his evil bent of mind (SRK in Darr, Baazigar). More recently, our leading men have learnt that experimenting with shades of grey only makes them recognised as better actors and does not harm their goody-good image. Saif in Omkara, AD and Vivek in Company were given the credit they deserved for delivering outstanding performances even though their characters were negative, and they have only gone onto better and bigger successes (well, apart from Vivek, who is yet to better his debut). In "Johnny Gaddar", Neil Mukesh makes an impressive debut, helped by the fact that his character needs very few expressions - the narrative makes up for the rest. And though his character betrays and murders his friends, he is an unapologetic victim of circumstance, showing little remorse - a reflection of the times we live in, where life is cheap and every one wants to take a short cut to success. He is supported by a bunch of fantastic actors among whom Vinay Pathak stands out yet again for the sheer honesty he instills into every character he portrays.

After JG, the next film in line was "Manorama 6 feet under". Inspired by the classic "Chinatown", Manorama was a languid excercise in story telling. Though slightly ponderous at times, it was nevertheless an engrossing tale set in the wonderful backdrop of Rajasthan, a canvas that adds layers to any text by just being as it is. The treatment was again a salute to a wonderful style that Hollywood has perfected over the years - twsits and turns where nothing is what it seems. Abhay Deol seems to be making a habit of doing story-driven movies and is slowly emerging as an actor of repute. As usual, Vinay Pathak is mesmerising, and Gul Panang does a commendable job. The costumes are excellent and one has to applaud Gul for her characterisation - how many heroines are willing to dress in a shabby night dress with a petticoat showing just above her rubber chappals? She not only nails the look of the character, but is also helped considerably by her earthy appeal and charm.

Finally came Diwali and with it two of the year's biggest releases - OSO and Saawariya. I first watched OSO out of loyalty to my wonderful Jirlax, because I knew it would be a fun entertainer and to judge for myself if Deepika deserved the unconditional gush of emotions she seemed to be getting from everyone. Three hours later, I emerged a believer. SRK is his usual charming best and entertains us thoroughly by refusing to take himself too seriously. Farah's knowledge of the industry makes for some hillarious gags and inside jokes, which most regular film goers should get. And Deepika is incandescent. Her beauty is luminous, capable of lending a warm glow in the darkest reaches, a smile to rival Madhuri, and limpid pools that would inspire Shakespeare. A hint of naivety and sense of awe seems to come through, possibly due to her young age - one hopes she is able to hold on to that innocence and not surrender it to the ravages of time.

The other big release, "Saawariya" was a slight disappointment, only because one expects more from SLB. Slightly self-indulgent, the film is carried on the strength of its lead performers, both debutants boasting a filmi pedigree. Ranbir is allready creating a flutter and has many women swooning at his sight, and it is well deserved. The proud bearer of the Kapoor heritage is a worthy addition to the film galaxy, and will only get better with time. Sonam is another stunner whose simplicity and beauty comes across as a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately SLB gives her little scope as most of the film seems to revolve around Ranbir, but she makes her presence felt and one only hopes she goes on to bigger and better successes, better scripts and a bright future. SLB seems to be on a steady decline ever since his first and best film "Khaamoshi" bombed. While a steady chorus touts "Black" as sheer poetry and the new benchmark in Indian Cinema, one only wishes he would come out with something more original, a story not borrowed or inspired from a classic, where the balance between style and substance is healthy.

Both Ranbir and Deepika seem to be destined for greatness, while one feels a little scared for Sonam. You want her to do well, you wish the best for her, but realise at the same time that in this dog-eat-dog industry, she will face an uphill task. Ranbir now has to prove his chops as an actor and Deepika's beauty will only take her so far. Will she be able to carry an entire film on her pretty shoulders - only time will tell. She does however exude a warmth that embraces the viewer, leaving one feeling attracted and protective at the same time, forcing the viewer to fall in love. It's stuff like this that our dream merchants have peddled so successfully for years, weaving magical tapestries, helping us forget our worries for a few hours and making us believe. Inspite of all the cynical baggage that love carries with it, it still is something to aspire to, something we all want in our lives, something we seek and hope to find. The magic of our cinema is that has the power to make us believe, and Deepika, Sonam and Ranbir are worthy purveyors of this trade. Lets wish them luck so they can go forward and break millions of more hearts and make their magic for a long time to come.