Two weeks ago I decided to quit smoking...again! After having been a regular smoker for the better part of 17 years, I finally decided enough was enough, and so with a subtle flick of my right wrist, I chucked my last pack of nicotine sticks and a cheap disposable lighter into the rubbish bin. That was almost 10 months ago. The following 7 months were healthy and cough free. My wife stopped complaining of my cigarette breath. It has been said that kissing a regular smoker is like licking an ashtray - not very appetising. Life was good, the birds were chirping again, rainbows regularly appeared in the sky and all was well in the world.

This lasted until I travelled back home, met a few old friends and slipped so easily back into old ways, it was like I had never left. It started with just one drag - for old times sake. It soon grew into just one cigarette - if I can quit for 7 months, I can control the urge. It did not take very long for that solitary cigarette to graduate into a pack - to be smoked over the next 4-5 days, and just like that, in a span of 2 weeks I was back to the status of a regular smoker. All the cleansing of the past 7 months tapped away like useless ash and flushed down the toilet. It took me another 2 months to finally admit to myself that I missed the deep breaths I could take when my lungs were doing what they were meant to be doing, without having to bear the additional burden of nicotine fumes. The coughing fits, when my eyes would nearly pop out with the dry retching always reminded me of a song from "Jesus Christ Superstar", when Pontius Pilate is begging JC to give him any excuse not to sentence him to crucifixion, but our dear JC, filled with faith and belief in his divine duty refuses to do so. Exasperated and left with no choice, Pontius Pilate, in the immortal words of Tim Rice sings:

Don't let me stop
Your great self-destruction
Die if you want to
You misguided martyr!
I wash my hands
Of your demolition
Die if you want to
You innocent puppet!

With every cough that racked my chest, I knew how true those words were - they were written for me - for every smoker who, inspite of knowing what a vile and unhealthy habit he is a slave to, continues to puff away, dragging deep and dreaming of a Marlboro sunset. Until 2 weeks ago.

It has now been 14 days since I have been clean. In all honesty, I have sneaked in 2 cigarettes - but I prefer looking at the big picture and living in denial, and as we all know, denial is not just a river in Egypt. It also helps that the month of Ramadan started 2 weeks ago, and smoking in public during the day is punishable with a fine and possible imprisonment. Who says living under an authoritarian regime does not have an upside!!